Monstrous Confusion

I no longer breath as I did before,
I no longer sing the song I used to sing,
I can no longer dream as I used to dream.
Even my screams are different things.

I open the doors but never walk through.
I am unsure if fear holds me back.
I am unsure if I even want to walk through.

If there is one thing I do know,
It is that I have no idea what I want.

Every thought is cloaked in shadows and doubt.

I do not know my body or my face.
I do not know my hopes or my dreams.
I do not know my fears or my strengths.
I do not know what to do.

I wish a hero was watching me.
One which held back from rescuing me
but feels they cannot stand idly anymore.

I may be the hero and I need to save myself
Though I do not know what I need saving from.

Maybe the monster is me and I am the monster.