When I was still a child
I thought life was a fairytale
positivity followed me
like a moth to the flame
but that flame guttered out
and the moth flew away.
The hardest part of letting you go
was the moment before
your lungs stopped breathing
and your eyes fluttered open
settling on our faces
but when you looked at me
the life behind them faded away.
For a blissful moment
your consciousness felt like hope
but in the flick of a light
it was revealed that hope
is an illusion of trickery.
I could not hear the flatline
over the tortured screams
echoing from within my heart
breaking into the air as silence,
the inability to breath
or to feel.
It was on that day
positivity became a knat
that was swat away
when near to me.
If I never fly I will never crash
if I never feel I will never hurt
but to survive without love
without life
will only leave me empty.
Positivity is nearer now
but I am afraid
oh so afraid
that perhaps I have been
the moth my entire life
chasing a flame built on tragedy.
I hope this is my happy ending.
Watch over me and please
hold my hand if it isn’t
like I tried holding onto yours
as you closed your book
and turned to the next chapter in mine.
I reread my chapters
which contain you in them
they have always been my favorite
and I miss you
oh I miss you
I want to hold your hand
like we did when I was free.
